You are probably thinking girl, who you kidding, ain’t nobody cleansing into New Year’s Day! Cheers to all things Holiday; food, friends, family, fun, Jesus and spirits! How will you enter the New Year cleansing or hungover? A couple years ago, I cleansed my diet of gluten due to the advice of my Dr. and also started meditation and exercise along with prayer and faith in God. With all this new found healthy living which brought good health and energy, every new year since then I started off the year by creating a vision board and setting intentions of what I wanted to manifest and how I would manifest. Sounds easy, hang the board and done. Not really, part of it I discovered by journaling is a work in progress and realizing the closed doors were detours to better beginnings. I must say being mindful, purposeful and having faith in my journey has led me to joy. Making my intentions clear, purposeful and manageable, I truly am excited to start the new year not hungover with last year’s I wish or I wonder. Cleanse yourself of all the I should of, would of and could of and create your 2018 vision.
Walking into a meditation class after a long day, no, a long week I felt just drained, haven’t felt this way in a long time, but I was there for a reason, renewal. Did that ever happen to you? You know what’s burdening you, you are self aware, but you can’t just let it go, it’s almost like you need someone or something to step in and shake you up! Well, as I walked into the class, plopping myself down on the yoga mat in between yawns, my lesson was right by my side. As I was laying my yoga mat down, I saw the person next to me had a tank of oxygen attached with other medical equipment and immediately it’s like I snapped myself out of misery, suddenly feeling drained, I became alive, knowing this person was doing the absolute best they could, they showed up with a smile, happily engaging in a preclass discussion with the instructor present in the moment in spite any obstacles they may face. This was a great reminder for me to let it go, all that was draining me, needed to be released, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and certainly a lesson being revealed.
I wish. I wish I knew how hard it would be to live without your laugh, smile, warmth, understanding, humor, grace, class and love. I wish I knew that hearing others talk about their Mom would be so hard, but would eventually fill me with so much love and pride because of the person you were, I am the fortunate one. I wish I knew the void of losing you would never be filled, but it’s ok, because your impression and spirit is so much bigger. I wish I knew that losing you would make me better in time.
I know now, love doesn’t die. I know now, you are still my Mom and your spirit is here and it glimmers at just the right time, a song, a person, a moment, it’s you and for that I am grateful. I know now, your love does live on in laughter, in words, feelings. I know now, your love doesn’t die, but it grows stronger as time stretches for the person you were and Mom you continue to be.
Oprah once asked the question to her readers: “What is your mantra to live by?” or as I am calling it: “What is your life sentence?” I’ve thought about this a lot and thought about something profound, but it never sounded quite right. I must say, some of my biggest lessons in life: cancer that lead to the loss of my mom, a home break in two days after Christmas following my Mom’s passing, two car accidents shortly after and then confronting the burglars in court. I often wondered why would all of this be happening at such a very sad time, but I am firm believer everything happens for a reason. Shortly after these events, which only seemed fitting I developed a mild case of shingles. In addition, I developed a slightly lazy eye due to the stress, but fortunately it corrected itself within a year. I must say, a very busy year and a half following my Mom’s passing along with my job teaching and life in general.
I remember the doctor asking: “Has anyone told you that you have a slightly lazy eye?” Actually, no, but ironically I told myself one day while looking at a picture, but failed to recognize it. Cancer, loss, car accidents, a home break in, shingles and a slight lazy eye brought me to my life sentence. There is no other present than time, listen and learn. Time is a gift, listen to the messages life is sending you and learn from them.
There is no other present than time, listen and learn.
I have always though that I have to use time to my advantage. Who doesn’t? I have learned to listen to my instincts and use the time I have to my advantage. Take care of yourself and use your time wisely. Work and life can be stressful, but take care and listen and learn what your mind amd body are telling you. Enjoy the time you have, and make the most of it. Remember: slow and steady wins the race!
What is your life sentence?