I find my best days are when I feel a sense of order within my schedule, my mind and my environment. To me, organization leads to creativity, compassion, a listening ear, empathy and production. Why? My mind can relax when I feel a sense of stillness. Stillness to me is peace and order. Well, like you, 2020 has had a great time laughing at my sense of peace and order. But, like you, most likely, I’ve had to reevaluate systems that create peace and order. Guess what, it’s not so much about peace and order, but being flexible to change, understanding and finding what works for me personally. Self compassion, in my words is building your own sense of peace and order, but allowing yourself the amount of compassion that leads to your best days.
I realized the other day as embrassing as it is, I have to stop and really think about how many days are in a month. Just when I remember we are on to a new month. February, February, forget it, are we in the leap year or not? Seriously, it is the little things in life that you just have to laugh at. Yes, I know there is a song and poem, but honestly, I may of been absent the day that was taught because I can’t remember that either. My Mom would joke that I was dropped as a baby on my head, maybe that’s true! I can remember a lot, but the months, forget it. I practice, but rely on my calendar. Did this ever happen to you? My favorite pizza shop closes for a week in the summer, I glanced at the date and thought, that can’t be right because it’s a Wednesday, then I thought that’s right there is 31 days in July. I even said it aloud, I started laughing and thank goodness the cashier laughed too.
My point is, laugh at yourself because you are not perfect, keep your sense of humor and be genuine because the days run short even if we forget how many there are, be grateful for them.
Well, maybe not exactly, cancer and weight watchers changed my life forever and ever, but changed my perspective on life. This will be short because it’s that easy. This has nothing to do with the weight watcher diet, this is not an advertisement and I’m not a paid spokesperson. Ha, now that we got that out of the way! My Mom for some time right before being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer was feeling great, had no prior symptoms and had been eating healthy and was counting points on weight watchers successfully losing weight. This is my point, with no prior symptoms she was diagnosed with cancer while making dietary changes and eating healthy and did it because she felt good, she was making changes for her health that were realistic. This is not a science or medical article. My point is, enjoy life, enjoy what you are eating, enjoy exercising and do it because you like how you feel or simply embrace yourself and enjoy yourself because she went from counting points to losing weight from chemo and radiation treatments very quickly, completely out of her control. So, be healthy, but don’t deprive yourself and be comfortable in your own skin because life is too short to deprive yourself of joy!
Walking into a meditation class after a long day, no, a long week I felt just drained, haven’t felt this way in a long time, but I was there for a reason, renewal. Did that ever happen to you? You know what’s burdening you, you are self aware, but you can’t just let it go, it’s almost like you need someone or something to step in and shake you up! Well, as I walked into the class, plopping myself down on the yoga mat in between yawns, my lesson was right by my side. As I was laying my yoga mat down, I saw the person next to me had a tank of oxygen attached with other medical equipment and immediately it’s like I snapped myself out of misery, suddenly feeling drained, I became alive, knowing this person was doing the absolute best they could, they showed up with a smile, happily engaging in a preclass discussion with the instructor present in the moment in spite any obstacles they may face. This was a great reminder for me to let it go, all that was draining me, needed to be released, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and certainly a lesson being revealed.
I’ve probably written about this before or maybe the lesson is just that good to share again because it resonates so deeply.
Grief, in hindsight, taught me many lessons and in reflection it still does, even when I least expect it too. Speak your truth, show how you feel and don’t apologize for speaking the truth in a loving way. People will never understand your situation until they are in it, they speculate, have an opinion, but never will have the clarity as being in the situation. Let others have their opinion, you don’t need ownership of that opinion, it’s theirs and certainly do not take it on. Falling victim to doubting ourselves is unproductive, absolutely, process your feeling and then let it go.
Keep your mouth shut, share your opinion when it’s asked, but sometimes value the differences in others and realize their opinion is most likely coming from a place of experience that has nothing to do with you. I learned this lesson as a child, I remember one of my Mom’s friends saying to my Mom as she gave me her look, “Jennifer, not now.” She’s so funny, she just says what we are all thinking, but don’t want to say. Needless to say, when I got home, my Mom reminded me that’s it’s always not appropriate to share what we are thinking, even if it’s true, time and place for everything.
Life is too short for nonsense and don’t take anything too seriously. Do your best and that’s all you can do, but don’t engage in the ignorance, laziness, stupidity of any situation, you are too good, rise to the situation and when you know better, you do better.